Marcia Reynolds, in her book The Discomfort Zone – How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations Into Breakthroughs, writes about five myths that effectively challenge the assumption that employees always reveal to their managers their thoughts, fears, desires and ideas. Reynolds is correct in stating that employees often don’t ask for things that are on their minds. Barriers include “cultural views on approaching authority and the negative implication ascribed to asking for help”. She continues by writing that, as a manager, “you will miss opportunities to develop people if you don’t reach out to them”.

Reynolds presents five myths concerning employees:

  • Myth 1 – My employees don’t want to ask me questions. They just want me to give them answers so they can get back to work. – Reynolds writes that “If you prefer not to spend the time on development conversations and fear challenging people to think differently, you will tell this story”. The truth of the matter is that employees “enjoy learning and improving more than they like being dependent on you”.
  • Myth 2 – If they need something from me or don’t understand something, they will ask. – Employees usually don’t like telling their managers that they don’t know something for fear that they look weak or incompetent. Reynolds advises managers to constantly ask their employees, “What would be the best thing I could do to support you right now?”
  • Myth 3 – No one is complaining, so everything is fine. – It is a common misconception that, if no one is complaining, employees are feeling motivated and engaged. Nothing could be further from the truth. Leaders must be constantly initiating dialogues with their employees as to how things are going. Reynolds writes, “When you keep your fingers on the pulse of your team by asking about their challenges, opinions and concerns, you will know what they need to maintain motivation”.
  • Myth 4 – If a good person does something bad, it won’t happen again. They will self-correct. – Reynolds believes that “this is the most common rationalization for avoiding what could be a difficult conversation”. She advises that managers be up front is letting an employee know that his/her actions have not had their desired results. If trust has been established with the employee, then such a conversation will be appreciated by the employee. If there is little trust, the opposite is true.
  • Myth 5 – The best employees want to be left alone to do their work. – An organization’s high potential employees have needs and coaches should spend a lot of time developing these “stars”. Reynolds writes, “High achievers want positive feedback. They want recognition for their good work. They want a steady stream of interesting projects with indicators of success. And they want you to challenge their thinking so they can continuously grow”. If you don’t spend time coaching your best employees, you risk losing them.

The Discomfort Zone is a compelling book to read that offers excellent advice that encourages leaders to embrace difficult conversations that result in breakthrough thinking for their employees.