Henna Inam, CEO of Transformational Leadership, has written a brilliant book Wired for Authenticity. Inam uses neuroscience to make the case that authenticity is a critical aspect of leadership related to engaging employees, innovating and delivering superior customer service. The author defines authentic leadership as “leading from the core of who we are to inspire each of us to be our best toward a shared mission”. Authenticity is defined as “the full expression of your whole self for the greater good”.
Inam hypothesizes why it’s so difficult for us to be authentic. She states that we all have a strong drive to conform due to “our fear of losing belonging with others”. She continues by writing, “Even though we are wired for authenticity, our fears wire us for conformity too, and it is up to us to decide which wiring to reinforce”. Why is being ourselves such a challenge? “From an early age, we’re rewarded for conforming; we often don’t know all of who we really are; and we don’t slow down enough to learn about ourselves”.
Our childhood years shape our identity in adulthood. “What we were each rewarded and punished for in our early years is what first established our sense of self and who we must be in order to be accepted…The carrot-and-stick system learning through our family upbringing, education and culture literally creates neural pathways in young brains. They shape our unconscious behavior and give rise to our coping mechanisms. Our brains actually create shortcuts (if A, then B) as ways for us to survive, to feel safe and to get what we want from others. Even as babies, we quickly learn that crying gets us attention and smiling at adults gives us affection”.
Our brains’ hidden messages and coping mechanisms often result in self-defeating behaviors in adulthood. This has a negative impact on our ability to lead. Inam emphasizes that “We expect our leaders to show up at work as perfectly rational employees. Instead, what we get are human beings”. On the flip side, our brain wiring from childhood enables us to socialize and collaborate with others and become productive people. However, from a social perspective, “the bad news is that many of us, including me, tend to take others’ opinions of ourselves very personally”.
Our brain wiring leads us to “start to define, quite narrowly, who we are based on what we each personally believe to be “good behavior”. Psychologically, this is known as our “persona” – “the mask we wear in order to be accepted”. The end result is that “we live a story that was created a long time ago without stopping to examine that story and examine whether it is still relevant for us in this moment”. Inam implores us to slow down and take time to examine our lives and get in touch with our hidden stories. She writes, “We’re too busy doing stuff. Being authentic requires us to slow down, be curious and be intentional…We need to step down our pace of life to practice being curious about all of who we are. We need to step down our pace to really get to know others”.
Inam also wisely counsels us to be “human beings” rather than human doings”. Too many of us are locked in this equation “success = achievement”. Is success in life really all about racking up win after win? The author believes that authentic leadership is “the full expression of “me” for the benefit of “me”. Ultimately, becoming an authentic leader who inspires others to collaborate to achieve a grandiose vision in the service of others is what success is really all about.
Inam recommends these five steps to bring authenticity alive in you:
- Identify what inspires you – “I am personally committed to practicing authenticity today because…”
- Identify your saboteurs – What are the saboteurs that keep you from achieving your goals? – “The saboteurs that get in the way are…”
- Identify your personal board of allies – Find the ‘Sage’ within you who exists to guide you. “We each have incredible reserves of wisdom and power within us in the form of our Director and our allies. Let’s start to tap into it”.
- Take the next small step immediately – “I do solemnly swear that in the next twenty-four hours, I will practice_________.”
- Celebrate success at every step – Don’t worry and dwell on failure. “The perspective to hold when we fail is to accept ourselves and focus on celebrating the fact we tried, that we’ve learned something and that we can try again”.
Whether you are a leader or aspire to be a leader, I highly recommend reading Wired for Authenticity.