“Don’t believe everything you think!” This is one of the insights from Dr. Marilee Adams, founder and CEO of the Inquiry Institute. Adams has written a thoughtful book, Change Your Questions Change Your Life, that posits that “the questions we ask either expand our mindsets, opening us to exciting new possibilities, or constrict our mindsets, limiting our choices”. Adams book focuses on Question Thinking (QT), a tool that helps us observe and evaluate our present thinking and “guides us in designing new questions for achieving more fulfilling experiences and results”.
The latest edition of the book uses neuroscience to explain how Question Thinking helps us manage stress and live happier, more successful lives. Adams quotes Dr. Candace Pert, who says, “we all make up stories to describe so-called reality when incoming information hits our higher brain. And of course, we all get to create our own version of what’s going on”. How we create our stories is linked to a part of the brain called the amygdala, “our first line of defense, alerting us to danger…The amygdala, we believe, starts off the processing of information from our senses, our memories of past emotional or physical traumas, even information about the readiness of our big muscles to launch our physical defense. It also sets off the production of biochemicals in our brains and bodies, changing functions such as heart rate, blood flow, adrenal function, alertness and aggressiveness, even sharpening our senses. And it’s at this point that our brain gets to work interpreting all this information and how to respond. We do our best to make sense of what’s going on, and then decide, for better or worse, what we’re going to do about it. All this happens in nanoseconds. From this collection of information our brains interpret what all of this means, and we put together stories to guide our actions”.
QT can help us question the stories we tell ourselves and others. Your story represents your reality – but they are not THE REALITY. “Your challenge lies in your interpretation of those feelings and the questions you ask about them. Where do your stories come from, and where are they going to take you?” Your habitual reactions to stressful past events are triggered by the amygdala, “activating memories and stories created in the past. And if fear was any part of those past stories, you can count on your automatic response to be negatively biased – throwing you right into Judger”.
The good news is that we can change our stories. Adams refers to the concept of neuroplasticity, “the brain’s potential for creating new neuropathways, and thus new ways to interact with the world. That includes pathways associated with the amygdala”. The key is to get curious about the origins of your stories, including the associated feelings and emotions. Your reaction to a stressful event “is triggered by your amygdala activating memories and stories created in the past. And if fear was any part of those past stories, you can count on your automatic response to be negatively biased – throwing you right into Judger”.
It’s important to note that you can’t erase old memories but “you can minimize their influence by providing your amygdala with new information for responding in more appropriate and effective ways…your new strategies start with learning new ways to interpret the very early signals from your amygdala”.
Adams concludes by writing, “Every time you are able to recognize the questions you’re asking yourself, and the stories that go along with them, you have the opportunity to change them…More often than not, the questions we ask ourselves and the stories we tell ourselves in Judger, are wrapped in blame and worse case scenarios, blocking any possibility for change”.
Robert Paris’ RENEW process helps people get in touch with their genuine stories, minimize the stress associated with many of them and reprogram their brains, allowing them to change behaviors and mindsets to move forward in a manner that better serves themselves and those around them.